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Gig Report

Civic Hall, Trowbridge - Sat 7-May-2005
So then, supporting Hugh Cornwell in Trowbridge.

I didn’t know what to expect here, it was a Badger thing and to be fair they can go either way cant they dude?

The Civic Hall is a jolly nice place, and has a jolly nice
stage with jolly nice lighting.

So the mood was quite jovial.

We had to sign some weird documents upon arrival saying that YES, YOU CAN USE OUR UGLY MUGS.
See, they were filming it and takin pics and recording it
and x-raying us and examing on-stage body language while we
were playing. It was all very exciting and off-putting.

Mr. Cornwell was sound-checking while we were unloading.
Gotta say his drummer is a rock star perfectionist arsehole.
There, thats that cleared up.
He really should take a leaf out of the Far-Cue school of sound checking.
It’s simple really, it’s two and a half words; ’ That’ll do ’

We didnt get to soundcheck anyways thanks to Cozy Powell there, so we headed into town to satisfy our hunger pangs.
We happened upon a kebaby, chicken style takeaway deal.
You know the drill, the one thats always open when you fall out of a club at half two and the food’s always shite but you order it, eat half and either drop the other half or come to your senses and chuck it away.

In, order some slop that you can guarantee will look nothing like the delicious looking illustration above the counter, and wait paitently.
And wait.........and wait...................and wait.

Just as malnutrition sets in, we’re told the food is ready.
Joy! The tray is hungrily siezed and taken to our table.
The realization sets in, this is NOT what was ordered.
A fuck up of monumental proportions has occured.
Now, people make mistakes, we’re only human aren’t we?
I mean, look at us, we once covered Rio by Duran Duran.
Forgive. Forget. Move on innit?
It was an error of judgement. We all make them.

So Sarge takes the initiative and tries to explain to the dude that the order is wrong.
All of a sudden the guy’s English fails him.
Worked fine when he was taking our money.
Sarge is usually an easy going sort....unless he’s driving of course, but that’s another story featuring hand signals and an iron bar.
Pretty soon it became apparent that the guy just didnt wanna know and wasnt prepared to sort it out, no matter how many times Sarge told him to come round the counter and see for himself.
Badger got in on the act, claiming he didnt order chicken, he ordered a beef burger, and had to explain that beef came from a cow and chicken came from......well, a chicken really.

In conclusion, the food was fucking shit, the service was fucking appalling and the whole place should be closed down, fenced off and blown up.
For starters.
I promised Sarge i’d slate the place on here and, while i may not have gone off my head like he did, i hope you guys will take it as fair warning.

Shoulda took Guy’s advice and not even gone in there in the first fuckin place.

ANYWAYS, we were there to do a gig weren’t we?
First on were Adrenaline. They were a bunch of young whippersnappers who were pretty good really. All they need is to keep it up, develop an alcohol problem, get some tats and piercings and we’ll support them.

Then it was Funkinstein.......see what they did there? hur hur.
They were a funk band......bet you didnt see that one comin.
The Far-Cue ratings board was a two to one in favour of them.
Won’t tell you who the nay sayer was.

Then it was the Chris Goldstein band. Hope i spelled yer name right mucker.
Now that bloke can play the geetar. His fingers couldnt keep still.
No vox, just fretboard frolicking. As a guitar player i found it very entertaining......and sickening. I really should practice more.

Then it was us....woo-hoo.
I think we were rather fucking good.
We won’t mention We U They will we Guy?
Not much else to say really. Sometimes it all just comes together for us, and that was one of those times.

After us there was a dude playing piano and singin and then it was Hugh himself.
He’s done way more than Far-Cue, earned way more and has way more fans, whatever.
Didnt rate him. Apologies but its my opinion.
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